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Low dreams and high schools

The day I tried to live

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May 10th, 2008

moved, SUCKAS! im hiding (sort of), let me know if you want to know where. from there we'll see.

February 26th, 2008

MY POOR, NEGLECTED LJ

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like totally. so here's a real update! life is going okay, i think, although i feel really disconnected from the internet world. it sort of cuts down on procrastination, but i kinda miss updating. lame. n. im feeling so bumped out right now, you know. we found out today we couldnt make semifinals happen. suck. also today being our last bdiv hockey match together. ANOTHER SUCK :( ill save some stuff for later, my brain's still trying to catch up with me. so, you'll watch others move on and be happy. you'll hate it, but its ok. im going to switch topics before i continue to ramble about the same stuff

i hate mrs gan's english lessons. i dislike busting my ass trying to impress her. not really. just cant be fucking bothered. something tells me that this will come back to bite me in the ass, and some dramatic daytime television scenario will ensue. she will pick another perfect opportunity to catch me talking in class and call me out for being a pretentious ass for pretending to be writing and copying notes, and looking attentive when im not,  then complain to pat ng or something stupid like that. then ill enjoy another full hour of 'SO, I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED, CAN YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS' lecture from him. yep, let's hope not.

January 1st, 2008

Me, my shiny teeth and I

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everything is so humbling. i am very lucky. i love my fucking friends. i have a growing affinity with new people and i cant even begin to describe how much ive learned about us and life in such a short time. im proud of everyone around me and how most people in my life right now are some of the strongest of character and arent afraid to be smartasses once in a while. i cleaned my room to the fullest degree. we chilled out overnight. sleepovers at kailyn's are mad awesome but visiting scary ass mother fucking places in the wee hours of the morning are not fun to shit with. i hate peer pressure. so many stories to tell, but im really cheapening last night with pictures in the next post haha. this was the best holiday hands down

December 31st, 2007

as 2007 is coming to an end, this photo explains how i feel about it:

pretty good year

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wow theres almost no specifics about this year that im comfortable sharing with the internet
it was an intense year

full of staggering highs and punishing lows
believe me, im thinking about the future

i hope everyone has a brilliant new year's and ill see you in the new world... or something, elephants.

December 30th, 2007

THIS IS THE WAY

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school is soon approaching, betches!

December 27th, 2007

the decemberists

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last night was fabulous! super fun (: ill update more tommorow, not that anyone really gives a shit, but whatever. for now, im going to lie in my bed and not leave it till next morning.

and, i think that, if it werent for friends, things really would fall apart instead of just threatening that they might. all you really need are a few good ones, anyway. alright, enough. im going to make myself puke if i continue. HAHA

December 26th, 2007

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" jus' chillin' n' celebratin', HOLLA! '"

December 25th, 2007

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admit it, you are only in it for the presents. some of us, the very few of us, are in it to get all lovey dovey aw i wuv my family! for one month out of the year. oh right. a tiny, tiny fraction of society is in it for the religious aspect. everyone else?
are you the kind who stays home and sit there dwelling on these things -- how beautiful life is, loving everyone, or are you thinking how shitty your life has been haha

im totally imagining things lol
like jesus peering over your shoulders with a disapproving (yet accepting, because while he forgives you for everything, he's kind of like your parents in the way that it kind of sucks when he's all "man, i cant believe this shit") glow about him. "my child," he says.  "my child, it is time that you embrace all the good things in your life and wish everyone a merry christmas. "

merry christmas, everyone!

December 23rd, 2007

A thought and an update

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awhile ago i was unpacking my luggage
usually i just recklessly fold things and put things away, hang things up obscenely. but today i totally spent time in that shit and sorted things out. i shouldnt ever be allowed to have a walk-in closet because i take advantage of space in horrible ways. 

today for lunch was LOCAL FOOD BUFFET HAHAAAA FINALLYYYY like you have no idea how much i miss the food here and then dinner with my cousins 
i passed one of them the skinny jeans i bought by divided thats like euro 90cents then she became all 'OMFG are you fucking serious so its like S$2???!?!' hahaa i smiled and nodded
it gets really crazy during christmas sales

anyway last night as i was telling kim how hot the guys in istanbul were HAHA and that how when one of those days i stepped into a kebab restaurant my first reaction was 'SHIT, IM AT THE WRONG PLACE' because it seemed like i entered a male modelling agency all the waiters were like janice dickinson's models hahahahaa 
theyre actually really friendly ahhhh oh man i cant stand it theyre fucking hot
i love turkey boys. lovelovelove
so can you imagine... turkey is like cute overload
but of course, just as there are good lookers there are also ugly men. or old. and fat ones. 
like some of the ones in my photos! thats just...sad.

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i miss people! *cough* windshield licker *cough* LOL
europe was huge haha  

one of the days, i ran into a group of locals outside the real madrid soccer stadium and they started ching-chonging at me and i went "er no hablo espanol.." they went on repeating and i was like "...errr no comprehendo...." (HAHA) and smiled politely and went off. later i realized how stupid i am. well, i heard some "como esta something something" which meant like how are you and fuck im a dumbass

later in that day, i was getting postcards and again was spoken spanish to by some lady. then on, i forced myself to memorise the entire list of spanish words that was given to me. haha so, test my spanish!!

oh btw its goes like this:
sat dec 8: singapore -> libson, portugal
mon dec 10: libson -> fatima -> (crossed the portugal and spain border to caceres)
tues dec 11: caceres -> toledo-> madrid
thurs dec 13: madrid -> seville
fri dec 14: seville -> granada 
sat dec 15: granada -> alicante 
sun dec 16: alicante -> valencia -> barcelona
(spent 3 days in barcelona , then down to turkey for another 2 days)
wed dec 19: barcelona -> istanbul 
fri dec 21 : istanbul -> singapore

so halway through, approx.45 mins. into our arrival in istanbul city, small car full o' youknowwhats started honking as they were driving towards us and one of them with an oakland raiders cuffed winter hat stuck his body out and xena-yodeled and his friend beside him shouted "konichiwaaa!!!" then laughed and waved

haha that was funny but it irritated me because its been like the fifteenth million times ive heard people konichiwa-ing me, i am not korean!!! then some i met said 'nippon!!' wtf, now what, i look japanese? the slightly better ones were like 'ni hao!'.... ok thats alright but its still sounds so chinese, like i come from mainland china. sad. couldnt they just say like 'hello' arghh... english..speak. english. damnit!!

December 22nd, 2007

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HELLO!! im back! how is everyone doing??!?! aaaaaaaaah i miss singapore food
i want chicken rice
or intense laksa
intenseeeeeee. 
i went for two weeks without internet. TWO OF THEM! WEEKS! god, how do those poor african kids do it. you cant miss what you dont have, i guess

i love shopping in barcelona
i love the guys in istanbul HAHAHA omg they are so fucking hot they melt the snow in winter i love them they are good looking as hell everywhere i go im like oh damnit holy fuck iluiluiluilu YAY ok fucks christmas in 3 days!!!

December 6th, 2007

Taking you all in

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i feel like i dont know anything about you and thats just ridiculous

December 5th, 2007

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 YAY! angela is the fucking best and this hockey trip rules and i dunno we're having a lot of fun and sup yeah more later

it gave me such an adrenaline rush help

- teach me the meaning of forever
- the little, unexpected things that make me notice you
- you are the epitome of.....
- the girl's SHH moments
- the weight of the words 
- confessing

November 27th, 2007

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i like my stickie notes

November 26th, 2007

Coin operated boy

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on friday i get to come home from camp, which was terrible by the way. oh and theres been nothing for me to eat the last 4 days and a half and all theyre serving for lunch is biscuits and bread.
slow starvation. 
but i shouldnt be complaining because i lost weight, YAYY!!
anyway i was excited to be back so i can have a feast of ramen noodles and mac donalds

this weekend was good clean fun, on saturday we went winter shopping, im happy because i bought cute gloves and nice winter clothes.
yesterday 2x called me to tell me him and joanne were on there way to pick me up to go christmas shopping and then we went to pick the little cousins up and later we each got a sw33t christmas hat and the hunt for fanny packs still continues. at the christmas store we picked out a christmas tree and super pretty ornaments, we spent like 400 bucks for everything. ohmygod, but the 8 foot bitch was worthed it 

we went to another christmas store and i want one of those towns with a train running through it and ice skaters that move around and skate and also the fat santa claus guy that does somersaults on the parachute and goes HOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS
my cousins tell me its a retarded toy and i fucking know that but just that i think its supercute.
so one of these weeknights im going over to decorate the tree! its going to be tons of fun. super excited

last weekend was good as well, friday the hockey people came over to play and swim and we ordered pizza. stupid pizza guy, we were all cursing him because he took 10 million years to come and we were all starving.  

saturday morning was funny because i went to mac ritchie with two of my uncles, uncle adrian and i rented a two seater, after he taught me how to canoe he jumped out and left me all alone to paddle, i almost died, that shit was so heavy
he went to look for my other uncle, they sat down on the grass and chatted, and they looked so gay together
everyone there probably thought i had a few screws loose, like what am i doing alone on a two seater, my stupid boat hardly moved
i saw clarissa quek there too! haha omg man she has muscles
i went home and got changed, then i went to see stc dance finals and michelle brooke and most importantly jamile mcgee from so you think you can dance season 1 hahaha ahhh 
waited for amanda till the dance results were out and went for teppanyaki with her and elaine 

and um i forgot what else i was going to say besides im completely congested, my lungs feel gooey, i have a pounding sinus headache, my throat hurts, i sound like a man, i feel dehydrated and im sore so yeah im donee.

November 16th, 2007

funny dates this week
camp in three days

im also a dumbass and i have to learn not to mumble and stutter and freak out all the time
this past weekend may have been a shitshow of slightly epic proportions but im pretty happy nowadays in general. 

November 9th, 2007

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there is nothing that inspires me enough, i get bored easily. i leave people, ideas, i need constant change, and to be constantly motivated, reminded.

November 6th, 2007

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soo, two days ago i started listing what i have learnt out of my ocip experience in laos. that was pretty easy and i feel i still have a lot to put down. more than anything, i really wish we could have stayed there longer.
on the flip-side, i wanted to list goods/bads and "skills" i have. i hate doing this lol but its one thing to reflect on your actions and another over your intentions. i could rattle on about one aspect like... my crazy drive to understand completely someone else's perspective, but then i think about why i do it. i really do make things more complicated for myself lol i know im not some conniving, psychopath and that my heart's in a good place. SO THERE!

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