Low dreams and high schools

like totally. so here's a real update! life is going okay, i think, although i feel really disconnected from the internet world. it sort of cuts down on procrastination, but i kinda miss updating. lame. n. im feeling so bumped out right now, you know. we found out today we couldnt make semifinals happen. suck. also today being our last bdiv hockey match together. ANOTHER SUCK :( ill save some stuff for later, my brain's still trying to catch up with me. so, you'll watch others move on and be happy. you'll hate it, but its ok. im going to switch topics before i continue to ramble about the same stuff

i hate mrs gan's english lessons. i dislike busting my ass trying to impress her. not really. just cant be fucking bothered. something tells me that this will come back to bite me in the ass, and some dramatic daytime television scenario will ensue. she will pick another perfect opportunity to catch me talking in class and call me out for being a pretentious ass for pretending to be writing and copying notes, and looking attentive when im not,  then complain to pat ng or something stupid like that. then ill enjoy another full hour of 'SO, I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED, CAN YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS' lecture from him. yep, let's hope not.

as 2007 is coming to an end, this photo explains how i feel about it:

wow theres almost no specifics about this year that im comfortable sharing with the internet
it was an intense year

full of staggering highs and punishing lows
believe me, im thinking about the future

i hope everyone has a brilliant new year's and ill see you in the new world... or something, elephants.

school is soon approaching, betches!

last night was fabulous! super fun (: ill update more tommorow, not that anyone really gives a shit, but whatever. for now, im going to lie in my bed and not leave it till next morning.

and, i think that, if it werent for friends, things really would fall apart instead of just threatening that they might. all you really need are a few good ones, anyway. alright, enough. im going to make myself puke if i continue. HAHA

" jus' chillin' n' celebratin', HOLLA! '"

awhile ago i was unpacking my luggage
usually i just recklessly fold things and put things away, hang things up obscenely. but today i totally spent time in that shit and sorted things out. i shouldnt ever be allowed to have a walk-in closet because i take advantage of space in horrible ways. 

today for lunch was LOCAL FOOD BUFFET HAHAAAA FINALLYYYY like you have no idea how much i miss the food here and then dinner with my cousins 
i passed one of them the skinny jeans i bought by divided thats like euro 90cents then she became all 'OMFG are you fucking serious so its like S$2???!?!' hahaa i smiled and nodded
it gets really crazy during christmas sales

anyway last night as i was telling kim how hot the guys in istanbul were HAHA and that how when one of those days i stepped into a kebab restaurant my first reaction was 'SHIT, IM AT THE WRONG PLACE' because it seemed like i entered a male modelling agency all the waiters were like janice dickinson's models hahahahaa 
theyre actually really friendly ahhhh oh man i cant stand it theyre fucking hot
i love turkey boys. lovelovelove
so can you imagine... turkey is like cute overload
but of course, just as there are good lookers there are also ugly men. or old. and fat ones. 
like some of the ones in my photos! thats just...sad.

later in that day, i was getting postcards and again was spoken spanish to by some lady. then on, i forced myself to memorise the entire list of spanish words that was given to me. haha so, test my spanish!!

oh btw its goes like this:
sat dec 8: singapore -> libson, portugal
mon dec 10: libson -> fatima -> (crossed the portugal and spain border to caceres)
tues dec 11: caceres -> toledo-> madrid
thurs dec 13: madrid -> seville
fri dec 14: seville -> granada 
sat dec 15: granada -> alicante 
sun dec 16: alicante -> valencia -> barcelona
(spent 3 days in barcelona , then down to turkey for another 2 days)
wed dec 19: barcelona -> istanbul 
fri dec 21 : istanbul -> singapore

so halway through, approx.45 mins. into our arrival in istanbul city, small car full o' youknowwhats started honking as they were driving towards us and one of them with an oakland raiders cuffed winter hat stuck his body out and xena-yodeled and his friend beside him shouted "konichiwaaa!!!" then laughed and waved

haha that was funny but it irritated me because its been like the fifteenth million times ive heard people konichiwa-ing me, i am not korean!!! then some i met said 'nippon!!' wtf, now what, i look japanese? the slightly better ones were like 'ni hao!'.... ok thats alright but its still sounds so chinese, like i come from mainland china. sad. couldnt they just say like 'hello' arghh... english..speak. english. damnit!!

i feel like i dont know anything about you and thats just ridiculous

it gave me such an adrenaline rush help

- teach me the meaning of forever
- the little, unexpected things that make me notice you
- you are the epitome of.....
- the girl's SHH moments
- the weight of the words 
- confessing

there is nothing that inspires me enough, i get bored easily. i leave people, ideas, i need constant change, and to be constantly motivated, reminded.

soo, two days ago i started listing what i have learnt out of my ocip experience in laos. that was pretty easy and i feel i still have a lot to put down. more than anything, i really wish we could have stayed there longer.
on the flip-side, i wanted to list goods/bads and "skills" i have. i hate doing this lol but its one thing to reflect on your actions and another over your intentions. i could rattle on about one aspect like... my crazy drive to understand completely someone else's perspective, but then i think about why i do it. i really do make things more complicated for myself lol i know im not some conniving, psychopath and that my heart's in a good place. SO THERE!